I know of a very young child for whom normal growth and developmental charts are no longer a meaningful measure. With this new understanding, her family has been told that from here on out, this little person is to be taken on her terms.

I have wondered so much about what that would actually mean, what taking this child on her own terms would come down to. For that matter, what would that mean for any of us? What would my terms be? What would yours?

Wouldn’t it seem that being taken on one’s own terms would have to mean the usual standard markers of success are traded in for a growth measurement of the deepest possible expression of a person’s strengths, their deepest truth as a person, what they are most about, what drives them and lights them up? If that’s the case, to take someone on their terms would require us to understand who they truly are so we could assess and appreciate them based on their particularity. In other words, it would make no sense to appraise a person according to a metric that has little to do with who they are, especially when there is something much more important for them to grow into and bring to bear in the world.

For example, what are some of the standard markers of success you feel measured by that don’t really get at who you are and your potential? What would a more useful marker be? One marker that isn’t a useful measure for me is rank and status. I will never have a corner office with a window. I’ve done the calculations. Whatever work and responsibility comes with it I don’t have in me. Better to measure my growth and contribution in creative output.

There is a lot of pain in being stacked up according to growth markers that really don’t reflect and appreciate the value we, specifically, are here to offer. To further explore the concept for a future article, I’m researching the range of metrics that would more accurately get a read on a person’s true potential for growth and development were they to be taken on their own terms, and the range of metrics that don’t accurately capture the measure of who they are. Would you do me the favor of weighing in on this — anonymously or not — via this link? Or you can just reply to this email. 

Love to hear your thoughts! Who knows, maybe being taken on our own terms doesn’t involve any kind of measurement at all. Let me know.

E